Husband drinks alcohol: what to do, causes, signs and mistakes

The problem of alcoholism in families is very common in many countries. According to statistics, every third woman and her husband have to deal with alcoholism. It turns out that 30% of our families have an alcoholic - this number is really scary. At the same time, the husband's alcohol abuse negatively affects the whole family, and many such families have become a social problem. Families where men drink alcohol are often socially disadvantaged and children in such families suffer. Let's try to figure out why my husband drinks and what to do about it.

The main reasons why husbands started drinking alcohol

First of all, it is necessary to distinguish between daily drunkenness and alcoholism. The first is recreational drinking, the second is addiction. However, if a man drinks alcohol recreationally, he has a high risk of becoming an alcoholic over time. The reasons why husbands started drinking alcohol are as follows:

1. Entertainment. Many people start drinking alcohol at parties, at work, to relieve their mood. A beer on a picnic in the summer, a glass of champagne on New Year's Eve or a cocktail or two at the bar on the weekend – nothing seems wrong.
2. Traditional. Men in our country grow up in a culture of constant drinking: it is customary to drink on holidays, if something important happens, the first thing you need to do is get drunk, and people in the company do nottrust people who don't drink alcohol. .
3. Communicate. Drinking alcohol helps you integrate into the group, relax and feel more confident. Many men find it difficult to meet a girl without alcohol, this way they overcome shyness.
4. Emphasize. In the post-Soviet space, visiting a psychologist is not customary, and culture imposes on a man the image of a brutal, masculine man, without psychological problems and withoutShare your experiences. Men are often emotional and sensitive but are forced to hide their emotions and drinking alcohol becomes the only way to cope with stress. This is a common reason for the onset and development of alcoholism.

How to understand that your husband is an alcoholic - the main signs

Many men drink alcohol occasionally, such as on holidays. It happens that they go overboard. When should you start worrying? This question is often asked by the wives of such men to psychologists. Only a doctor can diagnose alcoholism. There are warning signs, when they appear it's time to act.

Use regularly

If a man drinks alcohol not occasionally, but often and often, for example, on weekends, then this is already a cause for concern. If your husband drinks alcohol every day, even just a little, this is a sign of addiction. It is also important what drinks he drinks and in what quantity. Two liters of beer every night is plenty.

Symptoms of alcohol tolerance and alcohol withdrawal

Alcohol is toxic to the body. The first cases of use resulted in severe intoxication, dizziness, nausea and vomiting. People call this "not knowing how to drink alcohol". Over time, tolerance, that is, resistance to alcohol, increases and a man can drink more. This is how withdrawal symptoms or hangovers appear - feeling unwell the next morning. At the final stage of alcoholism, tolerance to alcohol decreases again - to get drunk, a small amount of alcohol is enough, literally "smelling the cork". And the withdrawal syndrome becomes pronounced and painful, craving for strong alcohol and wanting to throw up - drink a little to relieve the pain. The habit of a hangover becomes a kind of transition point, after which severe alcoholism can develop.

The appearance of intoxication

Binge drinking is the continuous use of alcohol for several days (3 days or more). At the same time, the alcoholic husband enters a peculiar cycle of drinking: every morning he feels sick, hungover, then drinks during the day and becomes drunk again, the next morning he feels sick again. It's bad and everything happens again. With prolonged use of alcohol, mental disorders appear, such as alcoholic delirium - "delirium tremens", altered state of consciousness, accompanied by severe agitation, anxiety, fear orAggression and hallucinations.

Personality changes

Frequent hangovers lead to gradual personal changes that are invisible to loved ones, but addiction experts are well aware of them. Such changes include:

• Increased irritability and difficulty controlling anger;
• Weakened willpower, inability to resist cravings;
• Self-blame, guilt and loss of self-esteem;
• Inability to take responsibility for one's actions;
• Lying to loved ones and deceiving yourself.

Over time, an alcoholic turns into an adult child: he is not responsible for anything, cannot control his actions, cannot be relied on - after all, regardless ofAt any moment, he could get drunk, forget the agreements, and waste his money. money or even showing aggression towards loved ones: In this case it becomes dangerous. An alcoholic soberly repented of his drunken actions and experienced strong feelings of guilt, anger at himself or disappointment, which again made him drink alcohol to distract himself. from these negative emotions. He understands that something bad is happening, but he can't do anything about it. Wives of addicted husbands often say of them: "He's very good when he's sober, but when he's drinking, he's a different person. "

Social consequences

Often, relatives of an alcoholic hide from others about his alcoholism until the last moment. But there will be times when doing this becomes difficult. The alcoholic quits work or makes a serious mistake that gets him fired. When he is drunk, he can commit various crimes or get injured. A person who regularly drinks alcohol gradually loses self-control and becomes very upset: friends and even relatives turn their backs on him. Gradually, the people around him began to stay away from him, and his entire social circle was limited to alcoholics. If this happens, it will be very difficult to get out of such a vicious circle.

Mistakes wives often make with alcoholic husbands

Psychologists call the wives of alcoholic husbands "dependents. "This term means that the addict's relatives have close contact with them and their psychology cannot avoid changes. Their behavior changes in a direction even against their wishes, contributing to the development of alcoholism. Here are the main mistakes that alcoholics' wives make:

1. Accusations. Of course, drunk men's behavior and its consequences do not please their wives. They try to influence their husbands - they scold, nag, appeal to their conscience. Thus, they only foster feelings of guilt - one of the main causes of alcoholism.
2. Trying to hide the problem from others. Usually, the wife covers up for her husband in front of relatives, makes excuses for her superiors, and solves all problems herself. Or insist on drinking at home, locking yourself up - that's safer.
3. Supports the lifestyle of an addict: the wife scolds her husband, but can help him "recover" from drunkenness, give him money for drinking, look for him among alcoholic friends and take himwe go home. Sometimes she drinks with him - not thinking that this way he will drink less.
4. What a pity for the husband and his faith in his promises to quit drinking: they were never kept.
5. Leaving aside the problem: because the husband is good when he doesn't drink, the wife has to put up with his drunken behavior.

Often, in dependent families, one can observe a situation where the wife seems to be struggling with her husband's alcoholism - she shames him, tolerates him, gives dinnerGive him ultimatums, deprive him of money or sex and cause scandals. But at the same time, all her efforts were fruitless: the husband only drank more and more, and the wife became even more difficult. But she received a lot of sympathy from people who knew her situation well. Compared to her husband, to the people around her, such a woman is like a great martyr, everyone sympathizes and sympathizes with her. She took advantage of her husband's alcoholism to justify her own problems and failures.

What to do if your husband drinks alcohol every day - advice from psychologists and narcologists

If your husband drinks, the worst solution is to endure the problem, "carry the cross" and do nothing. Of course, a woman can always file for divorce and walk away. Furthermore, a drunk husband often brings more trouble to the family than help, resources and money. But you can try to get rid of addiction and save your family. All those close to the alcoholic need to be patient: it will be difficult.

1. The most important thing is to eliminate alcohol from family life. Completely and forever. Don't forget that there were no alcoholics before. To avoid provocation, never have alcohol in the house again.
2. Most likely, the husband will not admit the problem and will not show a desire for treatment until the last minute. Sometimes, after a scary or painful experience, an alcoholic wants to quit drinking, but then his resolve weakens—until the next time. Narcologists can help – clean the blood from toxins, alleviate serious physical conditions, improve your health with the help of medicines. Next, the psychotherapist should work with the addict, because psychological dependence is more difficult to overcome than physical dependence.
3. It is important to establish contact. Talk to your husband, find out why he drinks. But you don't need to become your husband's psychologist. It is better to entrust mental problems to a specialist.
4. Change your environment. All those alcoholic friends who drag the recovering person back into their swamp will be cut out of your life.
5. Don't bear it all yourself. Do not give money to your husband, do not hide his problems in front of relatives. Remember that you are human too. Take care of yourself, your life should not revolve around family issues.
6. Don't embarrass a man and don't feel sorry for him. If you see him trying to get out, you can help and support him in all his good endeavors. But be firm if he reaches for the bottle again.

Remember that it is difficult to solve the problem of alcoholism in the family alone. Seek help: from narcologists, psychologists, support groups.

Traditional treatment for alcoholism

All treatment methods can be divided into medication and psychotherapy.

With the help of medication, your doctor can:

• Reduces hangover;
• Improve health, support the functioning of internal organs;
• Cleanses the blood of toxic substances - alcohol decomposition products;
• Reducing the craving to drink alcohol - the so-called alternative therapy.

Psychotherapy helps reduce psychological dependence. Including:

• Coding: the doctor instructs the addict not to drink alcohol, otherwise something bad will happen to him. Previously, the method of encrypting drugs was also popular - a special capsule was sewn under the skin of an alcoholic, when alcohol entered the blood, toxins were released, leading to the patient's death.
• Classical hypnosis: the psychotherapist gives instructions not to drink or crave alcohol. This method is similar to encryption, but is a bit gentler because it does not involve an imminent threat to health or life if used.
• NLP, or neuro-linguistic programming: the specialist uses the patient's cognitive channels – auditory, visual and tactile – to reinforce desired responses in the patient and reduce alcohol cravings.
• Complex therapy (psychoanalysis, CBT, Gestalt method): psychotherapists deeply analyze the addict's psychological problems and show solutions, helping to learn new ways of behaving.

Alternative medicine

Non-traditional treatments for alcoholism include herbal remedies that cause strong reactions in the body when used with alcohol. For example, dung mushrooms, delicious and harmless, even with a small amount of alcohol cause severe nausea, vomiting, fever and palpitations. With prolonged use, the active ingredients of the mushroom will accumulate in the body and are not completely eliminated, creating a characteristic reaction to each time you drink alcohol. This method has long been used in villages to cure alcoholics of alcoholism.

To alleviate the painful condition caused by alcohol poisoning, folk remedies are also used: decoction of mint and lemon balm, St. John's wort. John's wort, bay leaves, apple cider vinegar, honey, cabbage mixture and pomegranate juice.

All kinds of plots, slander about water "so that the husband does not drink", prayers, reprimands for drunkenness are also used - these methods are popular with the people, but their effectiveness has not been proven.

Can I force my husband to stop drinking without his consent?

Some wives see that their husbands won't stop drinking so they try to wean him off alcohol herself without him even knowing. For example, they add certain drugs to food and drinks. This is quite dangerous and doctors do not recommend doing this.

To quit drinking, the addict must want it himself, realizing that alcoholism is destroying his health, relationships and life. But this doesn't happen often. Addiction changes the psychology to such an extent that alcoholics try to never stop drinking.

However, there are things an alcoholic's wife can start doing at any time to get her husband to stop drinking and it depends only on her. She needs to realize her victim position and change her way of thinking. Start changing what you don't like in life, don't tolerate what you don't like, respect yourself. Does not solve other people's problems, does not take responsibility for other adults. It is important to remember that alcoholism is not a disease but a harmful addiction that destroys lives and families. To change yourself and start thinking more about yourself, you may need to work long-term with a psychologist.

How do you know when to seek help from a magizoologist?

There are some characteristic signs by which one can say with certainty that the addiction has gone too far and cannot be overcome without professional help. Including:

• Frequent, frequent use with painful hangovers;
• Lack of control over alcohol intake (once a man starts drinking, he cannot stop);
• Drinking alcohol alone at home (drinking alcohol in silence at home can later lead to severe alcoholism);
• Lying and hiding the bottle of alcohol (husband tries to hide his drinking from wife);
• The hangover lasts for many days and the drunk person cannot recover on his own.

All these signs indicate the development of a dangerous stage of alcoholism, when the addict needs urgent professional help. Relatives of an alcoholic must take him for treatment, otherwise his addiction will quickly develop with the most severe consequences, even death. It is not necessary to endanger the life and health of every family member, it is better to consult a doctor promptly.